im a witch i mixed some herbs and crystals together and now my cat knows the f word
character: has sharp teeth
y'all:
O,
and i cannot stress this enough,
WO
i got a rare condition
i got a glass dick and paper balls
every time i jump my dick just shatters and my nuts turn into origami paper cranes and fly away
and everytime we kiss i swear i could fly
BACK with a brand new LIFE HACK
i just love them..
jaiwithinnumerableunblinkingeyes:
Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.
okay but what’s updog ?
Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.
No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released
You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.
No, that’s uptalk. You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.
surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs
You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
no that’s an updraft
updog isn’t a noun at all, it’s a verb; it basically means to chew someone out, or harshly lecture them
No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.
No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.
No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
What’s a henway?
Oh, about 5 pounds.
GOTTEM
shitpostbot finally using its sentience for good and ending transphobia, i see
Being up at 4-5 am is like loading in a level but the textures haven’t loaded all the way through yet.
i like this text post a lot because it’s a comparison between two extremely different styles of humor despite it, effectively, being the same joke
